The other side of the bridge (Julio Cortazar translation)

“Mahal ko, ayaw ko  na maging akin ka, o para maging tayo para sa isa’t isa, hindi kita minahal dahil sa lukso ng dugo na nagsabing mahalin kita, mahal kita dahil hindi ka akin, dahil nasa kabilang dulo ka, kung saan niyaya mo akong tumalon pero hindi ko kinayang humakbang, dahil sa dulo nitong lahat alam kong hindi ka akin, hindi kita maaabot, hindi ko madidikitan ang katawan mo, o maririnig ang tawa mo, may mga oras na binagabag ako ng sinabi mong kailangan kong mahalin ang sarili ko (napakahilig mong sabihin ang salitang magmahal, na walang muwang mong pinababagsak sa mga plato, sa mga kumot at sa bus), naliligalig ako sa pag-ibig mong sinasabing hindi ito maaring maging tulay sa pagitan natin dahil walang tulay na iisa lamang ang tuntungan.”

“Amor mío, no te quiero por vos ni por mí ni por los dos juntos, no te quiero porque la sangre me llame a quererte, te quiero porque no sos mía, porque estás del otro lado, ahí donde me invitás a saltar y no puedo dar el salto, porque en lo más profundo de la posesión no estás en mí, no te alcanzo, no paso de tu cuerpo, de tu risa, hay horas en que me atormenta que me ames (cómo te gusta usar el verbo amar, con qué cursilería lo vas dejando caer sobre los platos y las sábanas y los autobuses), me atormenta tu amor que no me sirve de puente porque un puente no se sostiene de un solo lado.”

“My love, I do not want you only for me or for the two of us to be together, I do not love you because my blood calls me to love you, I love you because you are not mine, because you are on the other side, where you invite me to jump but not I cannot make the leap, because at the end of it all, you are not my possession, you are not in me, I do not reach you, I do not feel your body, your laughter, there are times when you torment me to love myself (how you like to use the verb to love, With what naivete you let it fall on plates and sheets and buses), your love torments me because it does not serve as a bridge because a bridge does not support only one side.”

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